Hiding The Feeling
by LiKe a dRuG
Summary: Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. Hikaru's pov to Tear stains on your picture [twincest][yaoi][hikaoru][hikaharu][smut][lemon][r&r please!]
1. Replacing Kaoru

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

For weeks now I've tried to pull off this liking for Haruhi to sheild you from a disgusting world. It's sick actually, how I would think of you in these dirty ways of mine. At first, I think I slipped a bit, when I would have these fantasies of you I would substitute her name in place of yours. I mean it's obvious why I choose Haruhi to 'crush' on instead of one of our fangirls or even Renge. Because Haruhi has this apathy towards men, and all we have to offer. So, even if word got out that I 'liked' her, she would proably shrug it off and I would act in a world of sorrow for a few days. But then I'd have to pick a new girl to start 'crushing' on, just to keep the dirty secret from you. Honestly, how could I think of my own brother like that? My **innocent younger** brother. I think that's what appealed me the most about you, your innocents. It's delicious. With a sigh I thought about if you liked me too, just a thought.

"Kaoru? Do you think Haruhi loves me too?"

I know, I know, I'm being annoying with all the Haruhi talk, and stareing off into the distance is not helping it at all. Playing with my fork in the meal you prepared for me, I thank you on making this for the two of us. And you made my favorite, damn I love you. I want you to be with me forever.

"Kaoru?"

You seem a little distant tonight. Or maybe your annoyed.

"Kaoru.. Do you think Haruhi will run away with me?"

You still won't answer me. Maybe I'm being a little over worked with all this Haruhi talk. Although, I'm not actually talking about her. Maybe one day, on our death beds I'll sum up the courage to tell you. But until then I need time to think.

"Kaoru?"

"Hm? Yes Hikaru."

"Please excuse me. I'm going out for a while."

I can't believe I just got up and left like that. I walked right out the door like I have so many nights before this one. My hoodie over my eyes, my shoes clunking the ground in the rain. Lonely night tonight. Here's a fun fact for you, ever since I started thinking about you like this I've taken to smoking. I know it'll kill me someday, but the good die young. Does that mean if I die of old age, I'm bad? Heh. Hikaru made a funny. What a pity no one's around here to laugh at my stupidity. Damn, I'm SICK of these walks. These walks down the block, across the street, turn left, and walk straight for five blocks to Haruhi's house. Their DUMB. And long if I can put it. Well, I guess I can stop by her hosue again tonight. I mean, she is one for apathy, but that's before happy hour begins. Yes, I've taken to drinking. So what? It's FUN. Leave me alone, judge yourself before you judge me. And there she was, sitting on her porch, holding onto the bottle of wild turkey-wait, wild turkey? When did we start drinking **that**?

"Hikaru!"

Oh god, she's already drunk... I better start getting there or else I'm screwed over as the 'sober friend'. Sitting down on the porch, on step below her I swigged off the top of the bottle. It wasn't what I expected, but nothing I couldn't down.

Well it wasn't long before I came home. Upon open of my door, you were sitting on my bed. I had Haruhi around my neck, ready to give in. You kinda shocked me there, I really wasn't expecting you in here. What to say..

"Kaoru? ... Out."

Simple as that. In your t-shirt and boxers you might as well have a sign around your neck saying 'Hikaru PLEASE rape me!' But I won't drag you into that sick world. Watching you leave, kinda hurt. But either way, once you closed the door she had pinned me on my bed, and that's when it started.

I recall moaning her name, more or less to stop.

"Haruhi... Please..."

And that's when it happened. In her hand, layed my would-have-been future childeren. A mental sigh of relife and a smile crossed my face.

"Aw Hika-chan. I didn't mean to go to fast."

"It's fine. Really. I'll drive you home."

Yes I was sober enough now. She got up to get dressed as did I. But a pit stop to your room wouldn't have hurt. Walking over to your door I zipped my fly, and smiled down at you. Damn you Kaoru, you looked so... Tempting. I hate you! No, no i don't. But either way I had to say something convinceing myself i couldn't be with you.

"I beat you."

That's it Hikaru. Tell him how you got a girlfriend. Heh, see? I'm moving on! Ah what am I kidding? I'm stuck on you. Walking over I noticed you've been crying. Your not allowed to cry, your to pretty for it. Either way I wiped the tears from your eyes. That song I heard on the radio came on in my head, 'beautiful girls' by Sean Kingston. I smiled softly as the song begun it's chorus. _You're way to beautiful girl, That's why it'll never work. _

"Kaoru? Something wrong?"

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**Living in a fantasy**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****7! Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	2. Helping Kaoru

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. (alternate pov to Tear Stains On your Picture)  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"Kaoru? Something wrong?"

Smiling, I wondered if you put on a mask. Even if all I ever wanted to see was you smile for me.

"No Hikaru."

You got up and left me here, taking one of my pictures with you. What were you looking at? ... My photo album? Looking in it I saw which page you were on. Oh Kaoru.. Was I hurting you? Is this fake relationship with Haruhi going to risk the two of us? I should stop here.. I should just end it and take you into a deep and deserving kiss to tell you how I feel. But I can't. It's sickening, and you're too innocent for that. I love you Kaoru, and you shouldn't be missing me. We knew this would come, the day when one of us parts from the other. I'm just glad I don't have to watch you leave.

Tears came to my eyes as I looked down at the few pictures I hadn't gotten rid of. I looked out your window, and watched as you ran so fast from the house. What were you running from, was a mystery to me. You were wearing my sweater, but i know yours is in the wash. A maid came up to your room, to ask if I knew why you were running out so late. I shook my head, truely not knowing. I had some idea, some strange fantasy idea that maybe you were running because you couldn't be here after I posed to be finished with her. But I know you were running for another reason. How could I be so selfish to think you were running for me?

Laying down in your bed, I closed my eyes and kicked off my shoes. The very thought of you outside, raining, gave me goosebumps. What if you fell down and got hurt? What if you saw something you didn't want to see? Like a murder, or a robbery. The very thought, it scared me. I got up and waited for you at the table for hours on end when the phone ringed.

"Hitachiin residence. Hikaru speaking."

"Hika-chan."

It was Haruhi.

"Haruhi? What are you doing up so late?"

"Hikaru.. Tonight.."

"Gomen, I didn't mean to-"

"No thank you for doing so."

"Eh?"

"If you didn't arrive early, i don't think i'd be a virgin tonight."

"... Haruhi.. Kaoru's not home.. He hasn't been home for hours now.. Is he by any chance at your house?"

"Nonda."

You slammed the door open and threw the phone from my hands. I pulled you into an embrace, the bruised features on you told me of the night you just had. You were barely clothed, everything was gone except the pants on your lower. Barying my face in your shoulder i wanted to let all the tears fall out, how could anyone hurt you?

"I can't stand you Hikaru..."

You said with a glare and ran off to your room, locking the door behind you. I can't imagine how you must be feeling at the moment. You just got mugged.. Walking up to your room I press my ear to the door and heard you crying. Soft moans of pain escaped your lips. _Dammit Hikaru..._ Was it something I did to you? I walked downstairs and got a box of chocolates from the freezer I had recived from one of our fangirls at the club. I brought it up to your room, and knocked on the door gently. If you had fallen asleep, I didn't want to wake you. Two minutes seemed like two hours before you opened the door and flung yourself into me. I dropped the box and picked you up gently, and brought you to your bed. Placing you down I let you cry into my chest as I rubbed your back. I walked into your bathroom and brought out bandages, and wrapped you up, kissing my index finger and gently touching your cuts as I wrapped you.

"Where else does it hurt?"

I asked, trying to do the best I could to help you forget. I nuzled against your neck, trying to give you all the love in the world without you knowing. Maybe I got a little to close, my breath calmly stroking your skin.

"I hate you!"

You screamed and began to hit me with your right hand. I won't lie, it winded me. Hurt to. I was shocked at how hard you could hit a person. But I only held you closer, brushing off your hateful words. 

"Kaoru..."

Catching your fist I brushed the hair from your face and held you closer.

"Kaoru, Hush.. Niisan's here."

I had to say Niisan. It was sickening to get off on you being so very close to me at the moment. Looking down at you I tilted my head with question,

"But tell me, why did you leave?"

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**Arykee Chan**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter ****1! Arigato! (note: she did this in spite of me XD all "make the next chapter now! I reveiwed!")**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story (Tear Stains On yoru Picture) I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	3. Good ol' Church Lovin

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. (alternate pov to Tear Stains On your Picture)  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"But tell me, why did you leave?"

"I'm.. I'm just sick is all."

"Okay Kaoru..."

Sick? You must have caught a cold in the rain.. Then I remebered what day it was, what Haruhi had said when we were at her house. She invited me to church. Oh Kaoru, I can't sit through that for two seconds. Maybe if you came with me.. I got up and walked to the door, stopping at it to look back at you.

"I'll see you in the morning Kaoru. Hopefully you'll feel fine enough for church."

"I hope so too."

I watched you lay down, and cover yourself with the blankets on your bed. Smiling gently I couldn't help but whisper, 'i love you' after wishing you goodnight.

Walking to my room I kept that same smile. You looked so peacful in that bed of yours. I wonder, if I could ever look like that in my bed. Well, after taking off my pants and footwear I layed in bed in only my boxers, and covered myself in my blankets. It didn't work. I think I'm to bulky for this. I know we're not suppose to, since we're both teenagers now and we have our own rooms, but I snuck into your room and crawled into bed with you. You've ALWAYS been a hard sleeper. I could kick you off the bed and you wouldn't wake until the morning. So surely enough my arms around you won't wake you. But, I could hear you sleep talking. What were you dreaming about?

"Hikaru..."

Me? Heh. Maybe we're sky diving or I'm pissing you off. It's so cute to watch you dream, you look so innocent. With your small moans of, irritation maybe? Telling me to cut it out before you cut it out for me. Your lips pursing in a pout, glistening with the drool that never came. Hovering over you, studying your perfect features. Lowering down, i could feel your breath on my lips. You arched your back as your lips touched mine. I couldn't hold back anymore, i leaned forward and took you in a small kiss. I got no reaction which made me pull back. I left a trail of kisses down your front, stopping at the line of your pants. It was one of the greater questions in my head, to find out what layed behond your pants. I bent down, and kissed the jeans, reciveing a small buck. I smiled satisfied,

"That's all for now.."

I got up and pulled you close to me, looking down to see you were pleased with what I gave you. Maybe _too _pleased. Smirking I fought the urge to run my hand down your front and get you off.

When I woke up I noticed I was still in your room, so I got up and walked to my room to get dressed.

So here we are, Sunday morning, sitting in church. I could tell you didn't like it. Haruhi walked up front and began to read.

"Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother. Deuteronomy 28:53"

Oh god, this is boring. I watched her read, very monotone. Like nails on chalkboard. But I kept that to myself. I may be blunt, but not that blunt. Specially when it blows my cover. You rested your head on my shoulder, nuzzling it gently. I felt goosebumps running down my arm.

"Kao**ru**... Kaoru don't fall asleep."

I bit the inside of my lip lightly.

"I'm not... I'm just resting my eyes. Haruhi's got the voice to make an angel sleep."

"Yea... Doesn't she have the sweetest voice?"

I sighed gently. That was sarcastic. Sarcasim, one of the many offers i have to give.

"Yea."

You fell asleep not long after. I scrolled my attention to you, and there it was again. the urge to get you off. And what was worse, is you were _moaning_ my name. Were you having a wet dream about me? I shifted closer to you, and trailed my hand down your front. We were in the back corner always, no one would notice. Reaching into your pants I took you into my hand, and rubbed you gently. Even were it counts your skin is so soft. I kept my hand there until i heard a small yelp from you as you came into my hand. Taking my hand out i licked it clean.

In the car I couldn't believe myself. I had brought you into the world of sick and diseased.

"Gomenasai Hikaru..."

"Kaoru, what in the world were you dreaming about?"

"Oh, uh, I didn't have a dream..."

"Your a liar cause you were talking in your sleep. Must have been a good one too."

Why your still up is behond me. Kaoru I can't even pull an erection after an ecertion! you're like, superman or a multiple cummer or something.

"No... I just think that's morning wood..."

"That might be it.. Was I in it?"

I know I was.

"No."

"Really? ... Must be another Hikaru you were moaning about."

We really need some time apart. For your own sake. I'll got to the cookout alone, you get some rest and put in good masturbaition.

"Is it okay if I drop you off at the house? Haruhi asked me if I wanted to go to her house after for a cook out.. I figured you wouldn't want to come, I mean since you fell asleep in church and all.."

"Oh it's okay. I'd proably get you or Haruhi sick anyways. I think that's why I fell asleep."

I found myself 12 hours later, ciggerette in hand with a bottle of hard lemonade, sitting on a porch with Haruhi, Kyoya, and our lord. The cook out had been long over, and the other two had come over to hang out and chill for a bit. It was fun, because dumbass and Kyoya had recently started dating. But if you got fucktard drunk, he forgot all about his gay lover and would start hitting on Haruhi. I laughed, Haruhi laughed, Kyoya had to drag him off her. Then we started to play a commonr game, truth or dare. well it didn't take long for Kyoya and Tamaki to start getting devious with each other, when they called on us to start. Gomenasai Kaoru but to continue hiding my secret, I had to kiss her. Well we got REALLY drunk soon enough, and well. Have you ever wondered what it was like to get head from another guy? Yea, well our lord is REALLY good at it. But I bet you do it better.

--------

**Special shout out to:**

**elliee xl lx elliee**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter 2! Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story (Tear Stains On yoru Picture) I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	4. Shopping gone fun

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. (alternate pov to Tear Stains On your Picture)  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

Have you ever wondered what it was like to get head from another guy? Yea, well our lord is REALLY good at it. But I bet you do it better.

I didn't come home last night, instead I went to school the next day. Me, Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kyoya had come up with the plan of going to the Red concert. It sounded fun, and the band is rather good. When you came into host club I smiled your way.

"What. Are you all. WEARING? It's as if you all called each other up and asked what to wear today!"

Well, not exactly.. Okay yes.

Haruhi got all excited to tell you about the band, that she stumbled over to you, nearly falling in the process. Well I couldn't let her hurt you, so I caught her as she clung around my neck.

"Kaoru, wanna come to End Of The Silence with us this weekend?"

"Flyleaf and Barlow Girl are guest playing there!"

Maybe getting her drunk last night wasnt a good idea.

Well... I don't know any of their songs... I'll have to go home tonight and download their songs from itunes.."

"C'mon Kao-chan!"

She beggs like she's desprate.

"Oto!"

And now i'm begging liek I'm desprate. Okay maybe i am.

"Fine..."

You sat on our couch, and I followed. Haruhi followed me, and placed herself in my lap. I found it ammusing, it looked almost as if you were jealous. Maybe you are jealous, thinking she's taking your Niisan from you. I heard one of our customers ask questions, but it's better if i play this fake lovesick act.

"Oh no, Hika-chan has not kissed someone before."

Heh, if you only knew how far I've actually gotten. But, it's nothing. I'm still technically a virgin. Maybe the next time you have a wet dream i'll help you out, and we can both lose our-dammit! There i go again. thinking dirty of the white lilly. You didn't wait for me after host club, but you left the limo. Either way I didn't go home right away. I went to our lord's house, to copy from an old paper of his. Pack rats come in handy. Specially when tehy keep their papers for two years. I sat on the end of his bed as he layed on his back. We talked about Haruhi, and about last night. We also stumbled onto the subject of how our brotherly act is fading more and more. I bit my lower lip and looked to the side,

"My lord.. Have you ever loved someone you knew you couldn't? Because.. The bible doesn't support it." 

"Hikaru. Do I follow the bible? No."

"Well... See there's this guy..."

Tamaki had gotten up and pinned me down, throwing the papers to the side. A faint blush struck my face, only because this poisition was one I was NOT ment to play.

"I can't return your feelings.. But I can do this for you."

Tamaki lead small kisses down my front, something I had done to you not to long ago. I arched my back to contact.

"My lord... No, it isn't y-you.."

"Oh? Well who is it?"

"Keep it a secret... K-Kaoru."

He sat up and smirked at me.

"Tell him."

Later that night I came home at dinner time. I sat right down and began to strike up a conversation about teh concert, just to get my mind off what happened earlier. You came downstairs and sat across from me.

"Kaoru! What took you so long! I was just telling Ma how long the concert would be. Any luck finding your songs?"

A nod as you took your seat. We eat and talked about teh concert, as i asked you if you wanted to go concert shopping for appropriate clothing to wear there. You agreed and took your sweetass time getting ready.

"Yo Kaoru! You coming or do you have to run to the mall!"

"Coming!"

You sprint down the stairs so fast i think you sprained your ankle. I began to laugh lightly, but thought maybe you were hurt.

"Gomenasai Kaoru, I shouldn't be laughing."

"Oh can your christ bullshit Hikaru, and laugh your ass off!"

Christ bullshit? Does he think that's what i'm refering to? heh. We arrived at the mall later, and right away we began to have our old fun. First stop was not needed since we just ate, Mc'Donalds. I put my fries in your sunday and smiled deviously, finding it funny.

"You ate my cherry you bastard!"

I snickered at your outburst and held the red blob between my teeth. After we ate, we went to serveral clothing stores and got what i thought were concert clothes.We visited the pet shop, best buy, spencers, hot topic, zummies, discovery, and we even took pictures in that couple's picture booth thing. In the picture booth, i decided to become devious. Leaning over I gave you a kiss on the cheek. Laughing at you as you sat there with a blush on your face.

The pictures came out, and i let you keep them. Cause if i kept them, they'd be ruined white. On teh ride home, you held the picture strip in your hands as I dug through the bag of clothes you had gotten. I took out your necklace and began to put it around your neck. Steady Hikaru, one wrong move and we'd fall into each other and your cover will be lost. You will melt into the kiss and run your hand up Kaoru's delicate chest. We're close as brothers should be, why ruin it? We returned to our seats, the driver being to smart to hit a pot hole, me being to chicken to lean forward.

"That necklace looks good around your neck."

I saw you begin to cry, and wondered what I did wrong. You cleared your eyes just before we got home, as I walked you to your room. Just before you went inside, i stopped you.

"I had fun with you tonight."

"Yea... I did too.."

"I can't wait til concert time."

"Me either. Well, I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

"Kaoru?"

"Yes, Hikaru?"

I bit my lower lip. I wanted to end this night better then expected. but the image of your tears stopped me in my tracks.

"Why did you cry?"

--------

**Special shout out to:**

**BokuraNoLoveStyle**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter 3! Arigato! I love you girl!!!!!!**

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story (Tear Stains On yoru Picture) I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	5. Sponge Cakes?

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. (alternate pov to Tear Stains On your Picture)  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"Kaoru?"

"Yes, Hikaru?"

I bit my lower lip. I wanted to end this night better then expected. but the image of your tears stopped me in my tracks. I pulled you into an embrace, and asked

"Why did you cry?"

Instead of an answer, you pushed me away, slammed the door in my face, and I was left outside the door. I placed my hand to the wooden door, and barely touched my lips against it. I could feel you were on the other side, how close i was to you didn't matter, because we were still far apart. I sat on the floor against the door and stared at the ceiling. The picture image of youon the other side, knees pulled up to your chest, me on this side, stareing up at the ceiling, tears gathering in my eyes with the door between us. We were so close, and I fucked it up. Was it when I kissed your cheek? I thought that was something I was allowed to do. You told me you wouldn't mind when we played our act in the host club. We're so close, but so very.. very far away. And it's all my fault.

"Kaoru.."

Small tears slide down my face. Your name came in whispers and sobs from all of me and my patheticness. The tears came in so many numbers, I felt more of a puddle then a person. Some organ in my chest felt like someone took a chainsaw to it and ate it with their special k. I heard you rummage around in your room, throwing things out of your drawer. Were you.. Packing? Oh Kaoru, don't leave this puddle! Please!

"There must be something in here! Something to make all this pain, all this taunt go away!"

Then the rummaging stopped. I heard faint cracks, as if you were cracking your knuckles or something. Water started to run, what in god's name were you doing? I heard you swallow something, well more or less GAG it. whatever you swallowed must have been big. And spongey. Spongey food makes me gag. Gets stuck in my throat and then i need water. Were you eating sponge cakes? Dealing with depression by eating food. Oh Kaoru you're gunna get fat!

"Don't eat the spongecakes!"

I banged on the door, but no answer. I drifted to sleep not long afterwards, dreaming of death by sponge cakes. Not a pleasant dream, even if it was yummy.

The next morning I woke, and still you were not opening the door. Neither did you unlock it So i banged on it again,

"Kaoru are you awake?"

"Wha...?"

"C'mon we're gunna be late for school!"

"Oh Jesus fucking christ!!"

"Kaoru! Watch your tongue when you speak of the lord!"

"Oh shutup you pro-christ bastard!"

Ouch. Cut my self esstem.

--------

**Special shout out to:**

**Hikaru Hitachiin**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter 4! Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story (Tear Stains On yoru Picture) I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **

**Also, happy belated birthday to BokuraNoLoveStyle:)**

**Gomenasai for such a short chapter. This chapter was really more for Kaoru in the other story. But Hikaru needed his sponge cake moment**


	6. So Kaoru's sick too, eh?

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart. (alternate pov to Tear Stains On your Picture)  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"Oh shutup you pro-christ bastard!"

Ouch. Cut my self esstem.

And so we're here, at home the day of the concert. Okay so maybe I've been a _little_ over excited about it. I threw on my concert clothes, and for the next hour I stared at myself in the mirror in different positions. Oh yes, Hikaru looked good in his outfit. I'ma sexy beast! I mean, just lookit me! Chuckling a bit I wonder how Kaoru would look in his outfit. Or nonetheless what the others were going to wear. After all, this WAS a concert, and not host club or church or the mall or whatever. Whatever they look like, i beat them. Why? Because i'm sexier then them! Excuse my higher ego, but if you would, stroke it for me. Stareing at the black eyeliner I take a moment to think about what I was about to put on. Make-up. That's what it was! No matter what you say about it, It's damn make-up! What man in their right mind would wear make-up?

So I put the eyeliner on (shutup. it's my body.) and ended up poking myself in the eye. Cursing I calmed myself down, and slipped my red and black skate shoes on as I headed towards your room. I heard you singing Break Me Down, and what was more of an enterance then to display so KILLER air-guitar and join in your singing? We should start a two man band! 'The brothers Hitachiin', yea we'd make a thousand albums and we'd have thousands of girls at our feet. But, for you, i'd stay singel-waaait... you can't fidn out about that. Theeeen-I'll become a manwhore! Yes! So here I go, with my mad skilled enterance. I ran in, bursting through the door, and leaned up against your shoulder with my awsome air-guitar skills. Even if it was stupid, it made you laugh-or smile whichever i take it by.

"I'm trying to find! Replace the fear inside! Take this nothingness from me!"

And there was teh confirming laugh! Yes, your Hika-chan is gunna be a rockstar one day. Screw this fashion business, that can be your job. You can make the clothes you take off-er, that i werar to the concert! Yes! The concert, and nothing else... Maybe the bedroom-GAH. ShutUP Hikaru! And just to save the moment from taking you into my arms, my phone HAD to ring. Aw well, you stay innocent. Whatever.

"Hikaru's phone, your talking to him."

"Hikaru I can't wait to spend time with you tonight!"

So it was her. Alright i'll play my famous acting skills.

"Same here."

"Hikaru I miss you. You haven't come over today, sempai and Kyoya came though. Hunny made an appearence, but he said he had to go to his brother's torniment."

"I know... So how was your day with the king and Kyoya?"

"They asked why you didn't come, but I told them how a Hitachiin takes a day to dress and a second to undress. But either way it's been a day and I can't stop thinking about you."

I watched you leave the room, heading to the car.

"Listen Haruhi, I gotta go. Kaoru's about to leave without me. I'll see you tonight though."

"Okay Hikaru. Love you?"

Smirking a bit I stared at the ceiling.

"Yes... I do love you.."

I could only picture Kaoru at this moment. Either way I ended teh phone call there, and with a smile I walked out to the car. I got in next to you, giving you a smile.

"So are you ready?"

"Yea.."

"You don't sound so enthusiastic as before."

"Gomenasai.."

Something was wrong, But I knew better then to poke at it. Throughout the whole ride to the concert you stay silent with your hands clenching something in your pocket. Was it a glowstick? Were you going to be one of those people to afraid to light a lighter? Heh. I'll help you. They don't burn to much, i promise. We arrived at the gates, as Let Go played rather loudly, it drew my attention from your breathing. So we missed Flyleaf, aw well, if we're lucky Barlow Girl will play, but the flyer said it wasn't definate. Getting out of the car the foolish king was all upset because he missed his 'one true love' Flyleaf. He was rather fickle now wasn't he? He had all he wanted in Kyoya, but I just couldn't grip why they didn't act like a loving couple around everyone else. Sure, me and Haruhi saw them act as couples after the cook out, But after that, I haven't seen them do anything else. Nonetheless Kyoya gave a glare that sent the lord into a corner to cultivate mushrooms. Soon enough this sent him into the food service business, 'fried mushrooms' for sale. They seemed to sell well.

The night was the best I've had all this week! Dancing, singing, that lighter thing. Although you refused to take part in any of it, saying the old excuse 'it's not my place'. I'll spend time with you tonight. But did you see what I had told you about? I TOLD you Kyoya and the lord were a pair! You didn't believe me, but now you got to see it for your own eyes! I envy them really. No one really wanted them together, but they said 'fuck society and all their perks, we're rebelious even if it's shunned upon'. I got to show off my cross though. I was rather proud of it if i do say so myself. Already Over came on and the fireworks increased. At the end a shimmer of sparkles begun to sink as they begun their famous song Pieces. Wasn't it your favorite? you approached me, with a note folded in your hand.

"I'll be out in the feild, you can go back to Haruhi if you want.."

I unfolded the note and begun to read it. Read:

_Hikaru,_

_Sorry to interupt your fun, I bet your having a good time. This letter will only take a moment of your time to read, what you do after is your choice, I don't expect my fantasies come true. For the past week I've been hurting more then normal, but it was for you brother. You see, I don't know how to put this. I love you. Isn't that sick? Gross, we're so close as it was, I never wanted to tear apart from you. Enclosed is two pictures, one being our taboo love picture and the other being the strip from the mall. I can't look at them anymore. I just want you to be happy, and if that means I need to leave, then I will leave. I love you Hikaru, more then you'll ever guess._

_Love Forbbidenly,_

_Kaoru._

So... Alll this time... You've felt the same way? Impulses are impulses but THIS was a mirical. I rush walked over to you,

"Kaoru.."

And captured you in a blushed kiss. You wrapped your arms around my neck as i layed our chests together, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

"I think I'm sick too."

All the fireworks on stage couldn't come close to the ones in the feild that night.

--------

**Special shout out to:**

**flybeyondreality**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter 5! Arigato! **

**If you haven't noticed, on the other story (Tear Stains On your Picture) I've been keeping a promise I made when I first started this. As long as I get ****ONE**** reveiw or ****ONE**** add alert I'll start on the next chapter. YOUR REVEIW COUNTS. The more reveiws the better the next chapter **


	7. No More Hiding

**Title  
**Hiding The Feeling**  
Contents**  
Ouran High School Host Club  
**Pairings**  
Hikaru/Kaoru Hikaru/Haruhi  
**POV**  
Hikaru  
**Beta**  
None**  
Summary  
**Hikaru hides his love for Kaoru by dating Haruhi, as if to keep Kaoru innocent as he can. Even if it risks the two falling apart.  
**Disclaimer**  
I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters mentioned. Trust me if I did, they wouldn't be hosting. They'd be dancing with fruit hats naked  
**Warning  
**Twincest implied. Third wheel. YAOI. YAOI. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. You have been warned  
**Enjoy**  
--

"I think I'm sick too."

"Hikaru... What about-"

"Shh.. We'll deal with Haruhi in the morning.. But while the sun's still down and it's too dark to see very far, we should take advantage of the time we have."

Biting down on your neck I knew you wanted this almost as much as I did. You pulled at my collar, as I took this as an invitation. Stripping down you kept your shirt on, as my pants wouldn't play nice and slide down as fast as I wanted them. Aw well, I know you don't like to be naked in public. Pulling out through my fly, i noticed a slight problem.

"Kaoru I can't do anything if you don't spread your legs."

You blushed in the cutest way as you complied. I bent over and whispered in your ear of how cute you were, and how lucky i was to lose my virginity to you... BLOW JOBS DO NOT COUNT.

"What?!"

"You didn't know? Jeez Kaoru, and how long have you been by my side?"

"But I heard you and... And when you came to my room, you said-"

"That I beat you? Heh, you're cute when you're oblivious... I was talking about getting a girlfriend.. And that was only to try to get over the fact I couldn't have you."

"But Hikaru I-"

"Well it's obvious now Kaoru.. Now do you want me to start or prepare you?"

"... Oh jesus christ fuck me already!"

just for laughs

"Kaoru! Language!"

"Oh shutup Hikaru.. She's not around and you're about to go against everything christains stand for."

"Well I can't argue there."

I thought we'd never get to where we did. As I entered slowly you screamed louder then I expected, but just as much as I wanted. Tears fell from your eyes, but I kissed them away. I knew it must have been painful for you, and I wanted you to have as much of an orgasim as I'm having. Thus I stopped a bit, so you could get used to me. I will admit, it was a bitch to stop rocking into you, but it was all for you. When you pushed up I knew you wanted me badly, but being the gentlemen I am I had to do something to help you out. So I begun to stroke your member. I've said it before, i'll say it again. Even where it counts you are so soft to touch. I moaned softly, and tried different positions looking for your sweet spot, the spot that would make you cum violantly against my stomach. Your stomach growled as I gave a smirk.

"Hungry?"

You nodded.

"I'll feed you in just a second.."

I kissed you your second kiss. Whimpers for more escaped your throat as I was happy to help. Not long later did I cum against your prostate. With a great moan you came right after, because of our position, most of it landed on your stomach. I trailed kisses down your front, and licked up the mess on it.

"H-Hikaru... Before they see-"

I could care less if someone saw. In fact, it'd be better if they saw, cause then they'd know you were mine. I melted my lips to yours as an enterance broke, feeding you as promised. Something told me you woudl get streap from this, but if that happeneds I would at least say it was worth it. Until the end of the concert did we stay like this. Finally I stood up and put my shirt on, zipping my fly. I just hoped there weren't any stains on my pants. You winced to sit up, and nearly fell if I hadn't had caught you. I smiled as I held you. But then I thought about telling Haruhi, but I had the feeling she knew all along. aw well, she had told me once she was bisexual and I knew for a fact Renge had eyes for Haruhi.

"The concert's almost over. This is the last song.. Why don't you go wait in the car while I go take care of business?"

"Hai."

Walking over to Haruhi, I rubbed the back of my neck. I pulled her to the side,

"Listen... Haruhi... Kaoru-I... We.."

A hug and small kiss from her showed she understood.

"I know.. I saw you two."

"No hard feelings, I never ment for it to be like this."

"Don't sweat it. If it's not ment to be it's not ment to be. But I did have fun, and I hope we can still hang out with Kyoya and Tamaki, maybe bring by Kaoru and make things a bit more interesting?"

A small wink as we shared a laugh.

"I gotta get back to the car, but we should definately make up a date to do something together like we did after the cook out."

"Oh that's not even a question."

I walked back to the limo and sat next to you.

"Well good news is we're still going to be friends."

I gave a devious smile.

"But the two of us? We, I've got something for you when we get home."

I watched you take the picture strip from my pocket, and stared at the one we both loved the most. Making the picture a reality, I planted a soft kiss on your cheek. It was now I noticed you begun to let tears slip out. Was it from the pain at your lower? Or were you truely happy that we were finally together?

"Something wrong Kaoru?"

I slung my arm over your shoulder, were I would never depart forever. All the feelings I had for you, were let out in a burst as I took in your smell of cheap perfume, you never being one to wear colon. No longer did I have to hide this feeling.

--------

**Special shout out to: **

**xXCherryNekoXx**

**For being the first to reveiw Chapter 6! Arigato!**

**I hope you enjoyed the story 3 gomen for being so late with it though! I dunno, i'm thinking i MIGHT (this is a biiiiig might) continue tear stains... MIGHT. but then again i have to finish my terribly long chapter for No Balm. ALSO i have a Hunny x Chika story in the making, along with a Raped!Kaoru/Rapist!Hikaru story in the making with my friend arykee. should be good considering we're good at those things 3 **


	8. Update

**UPDATE**

Okay so I decided that i will not be conmtinueing another chapter to either of the stories, but i will make a new one. It'll be just as good as These two were only they will be narrated instead of povs. 3 so please, look for it in the future.

ALSO. it's saturday night and arykee is being a queer and not responding. So i need a roleplayer who can do literate roleplays TwT i can do either twincest or Kyomaki (kyoya x Tamaki). i can also do Haruhi x Renge if you'd like. But please respond to this in my aim by instant messege. if you dont have aim then reveiw and we'll work something out w NO ROLEPLAYER IS LEFT BEHIND


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